Not everyone who provides care to someone they love thinks of themselves as a caregiver.
Sometimes the role begins suddenly, after an illness or diagnosis. Sometimes it develops gradually, as more and more responsibilities become part of everyday life.
You may think of yourself first as a partner, daughter, son, parent, friend, or neighbor rather than as a caregiver. Yet when someone you love becomes ill, experiences changes in their abilities, or needs ongoing support, your own responsibilities may gradually expand. Coordinating appointments, keeping track of medications, offering practical and emotional support, and staying alert to their needs can become a significant part of your life.
Caring for someone can be deeply meaningful. It can also ask a great deal of you, physically and emotionally.
Both can be true at the same time.
When attention is always going outward
Caregiving can keep your attention focused on someone else throughout the day.
How are they feeling? What do they need? Is something changing? What needs to happen next?
Even during quieter moments, part of you may remain on alert.
Massage shifts that direction of care for a while.
During the session, the pressure, pace, and areas of focus are adjusted to you. Areas that feel tired, sore, or tense receive direct attention. For a little while, your own comfort becomes the focus.
You are the person receiving care.
That can feel surprisingly unfamiliar.
What can massage offer caregivers?
Massage cannot change the circumstances that make caregiving difficult. But it can offer direct attention to muscular tension and a period of rest when you have been feeling continuously “on.”
There is also some encouraging research specifically involving caregivers.
In a small, randomized study of 44 family caregivers of people with cancer, 22 participants received a 15-minute back massage each day for one week, while 22 were assigned to a control group. Researchers reported improvements in anxiety and sleep quality in the massage group.
In a separate MD Anderson study, 87 caregivers rated their symptoms before and after a single oncology massage session. Immediately after the session, caregivers reported improvements in anxiety, fatigue, pain, sleep-related symptoms, and overall well-being.
These studies are relatively small, and they do not tell us how long the effects last or how often massage is most useful. But they support something caregivers often experience for themselves: receiving care can change how the body feels, even when the circumstances around them have not changed.
Making room to receive
Caregivers can become very good at continuing.
There is often a good reason to do one more thing before attending to your own needs. And when someone you care about is ill, tired, or relies on you, your own tension can seem less urgent by comparison.
But it still matters.
Making time to receive care may not be easy. It can require planning, help from someone else, or allowing yourself to pause before everything is finished.
Massage offers a period when your own comfort does not have to come second. It creates some space for care to flow in the other direction too.
Learn more about massage therapy at Grace and Wonder
Related reading: What to Expect During a Massage
By Alice Grasset, Licensed Massage & Bodywork Therapist — NC LMBT #23475
References
Schulz R, Beach SR, Czaja SJ, Martire LM, Monin JK. Family Caregiving for Older Adults. Annual Review of Psychology. 2020;71:635–659.
Pinar R, Afsar F. Back Massage to Decrease State Anxiety, Cortisol Level, Blood Pressure, Heart Rate and Increase Sleep Quality in Family Caregivers of Patients with Cancer: A Randomised Controlled Trial. Asian Pacific Journal of Cancer Prevention. 2015;16(18):8127–8133.
Lopez G, Liu W, Milbury K, et al. The Effects of Oncology Massage on Symptom Self-Report for Cancer Patients and Their Caregivers. Supportive Care in Cancer. 2017;25(12):3645–3650.
